Sounds like ...

© Eugene Ivanov / Shutterstock.com

Boom! went the alarm clock.

"Tinkle," said the cat.

"Roar!" went the budgie.

I looked at them blankly. I was either delusional or I was no longer in Australia or any other part of the world I recognised.

Not wishing to entertain the thought that I may be losing my mind, I chose to believe that latter.

I wondered who might possibly inhabit a world where an alarm clock booming fit to break glass seemed a good idea. Perhaps everyone here was slightly hard of hearing? That could also explain the budgie roaring - but not the cat tinkling. I once had a cat called Mr Tinkles, but I don’t recall him ever tinkling (except in the bean bag on occasion; however, that is another story).

A door opened behind me. I turned around to find a man staring at me as though he knew me.

"Skraark?" he asked, sounding disturbingly like a cockatoo.

I opened my mouth to explain that I did not understand. Instead, out popped a frog-like "Pobblebonk".

He smiled then blew me a kiss before closing the door and leaving me alone with the budgie and the cat. The budgie roared once more before shaking itself and preening its breast feathers. The cat looked at me suspiciously through hateful yellow eyes.

I was distracted from this uneasy staring match by a rap-tap-tapping at the window. I turned to see a ragged-looking bird in a peaked cap peering in at me.

"Mornin' missus," it said. "One pint or two?"

It was going to be a long day.